5 Things You Need to Pay Attention When Criticizing a Spouse, Don t Touch Your Feelings
06 November 2018 Nadya Zahra Prasetiya Relationship 350
5 Things You Need to Pay Attention When Criticizing a Spouse, Don t Touch Your Feelings As dear-unfortunately you are with a partner, still there will be a time when you feel heavy when you have to criticize something from him who might be able to offend and hurt him. You also realize that humans really aren't perfect, but what's wrong with us is trying to be better. While it can still be done, why not? You and he also still need to improve themselves so that the relationship can work as well as possible.

Whether you or he will find it hard to see your own mistakes if no one else sees them. That's why in every relationship criticism is needed as a form of evaluation. If you don't want to be criticized, how will you know what turned out to be wrong with you? So is your partner. If you don't feel heavy when you want to criticize your partner, try to pay attention to these 5 things when criticizing your partner for not offending.

1. Before criticizing him, you also have to introspect yourself. Let yourself know your shortcomings or faults

Ants across the ocean appear, elephants in the eye lids do not appear. You can see other people's slits, but you don't realize your own mistakes. Obviously, you need to be aware of yourself before criticizing your partner. What have you been doing right now? Are you better than him?

Find the cause also why he can do something that makes you want to file a protest with him, it is not impossible if all that happened was indeed because of your own attitude. Introspecting yourself before criticizing him is the first step you must implement because it will prevent a bigger problem later

2. You also have to balance praise and criticism so that it is better at heart, and not impressed that he is always wrong in your eyes

"You really are wise if we are fighting again, but you lack attention"

It is better to prioritize praise before criticizing his attitude, the delivery will feel better, right? That won't make him feel bad, because you also convey what is the excess. Sometimes small talk is necessary rather than direct blame.

Giving him compliments will also make it easier for you to lead him to understand what you are saying. If possible, offer help to make it change for the better. Try to imagine if you immediately criticize him without thinking about his feelings? It's not impossible if he gets offended and the problem gets bigger.

3. See sikon when you want to criticize, so he can accept your criticism and not feel cornered

Even though you have a myriad of words that you have to say to your partner, you should first consider the situations and conditions when you want to express your protest. Don't get wrong timing, and say it when the mood isn't good.

It could be even more damaging to your partner's mood and make him reluctant to hear everything you say or even feel very cornered by what you say, even though you don't intend like that. Look for a time and place that is conducive to speaking from heart to heart to be able to keep his feelings.

4. Don't assume everything you want, but try to see the reality, too, so that I'm not impressed just blame him

Old-buried problems will cause bad assumptions without clarity, so why do you need to talk at the right time before the bad assumptions that you make yourself affect your mind. Adjust your style of speech and keep calm, so as not to make him seem the most sinful here.

Before you judge his mistakes and assume negativity, remember the kindness he has done for you. At least he still has a positive side from him that you can consider before making a criticism. He is the person you choose to fill your heart, surely you have your own reasons why you choose it. Remember that, let your emotions decrease.

5. After you are satisfied to convey what you feel, give him time to explain the version of his point of view

Not only is it balanced with praise, but you also need to prepare good advice about how he must change his ugliness that can't be left behind. After you are satisfied to talk, turn to the opportunity to talk. Listen to the explanation, why he can do things that bother you.

From the response, you also understand what the situation he is facing and it can be a means for you to understand it more deeply. Listen to the reason, make him feel valued.

Criticizing our loved ones is not easy, it takes courage and this strategy so that their feelings are maintained and the criticism we give can have a good impact on him. Instead it becomes a boomerang for your own relationship. If the way you do it is correct, later he also understands what and how to change his ugliness. At least from good criticism, help him to develop.

Source : https://www.hipwee.com/category/hubungan/